Lack of supervision, the wrong friends, and a host of poor decisions on my part led me, as a young adult, into a life filled with lies, deception and wrong actions.  I did not know the warning in the Bible, Romans 6:23: “For the wages of sin is death.”  I entered into college 500 miles away from home and felt quite pleased with myself.  My first impression was that now I was truly free to decide what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go, and whom I wanted to be with.  This was all without any interference from my parents.  I loved my parents, but for me, they were an intrusion into my lifestyle.  I wanted to be my own independent thinker and they were in the way.  My actions caused me to plunge deeper into sin.  I started believing that if I continued to get average grades, I generally could do whatever I wanted without any questions from home.  How little did I really know.  How immature and foolish I was.  I did not heed the admonition in the Bible, Proverbs 3:7: “Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.”  

 My loving mother would make phone calls to my dorm room early on Saturday mornings.  Here she would reconfirm her love for me by saying, “Ruth, we are so proud of you.”  I figured my deception had worked.  I was doing what I wanted and they still didn’t know. I considered for a moment just how much I loved them and yet how much I was hurting them.  From that point on I vowed never to let on my true feelings.  I wanted my independence and I had felt I deserved it.

 While in my second year of college, I began a work/study program that led me to a job which was a 4 hour drive away from school.  There in that office, I met a receptionist whose name was Juanita.  She was so bubbly and talked endlessly about her church.  Vainly I felt I was just too cool to deal with her and often made excuses to avoid her continuous reference to church.  At this time, my need for salvation was not evident to me.  I was, in fact, just too proud to admit my need.  She finally insisted that I attend her church’s family night at the skating rink.  Not wanting to disappoint her, I went, but within a half hour I was ready to leave the happy bunch of giggling juveniles. Later in the meeting, I was quickly sobered when I saw someone open up the Bible and talk as though they knew the God who wrote it.  The astute leader asked if there was anyone who knew a verse for healing.  A young person declared, “....and with His stripes we are healed.” [Isaiah 53:5]  I was stunned.  It was obvious that they all loved that book.  At that time, I began to wonder if there was more to life. 

 When I left the rink that night, I left with a different perspective.  I realized for the first time that it was me that was missing the something they all had.  In short, my deceptions, my lies, and my arrogant lifestyle was not giving to me the joyous life I ultimately wanted.  I felt a sense of loss. I was, in fact, beginning to see that I was the sinner.  I could not ignore it.  From that point on I knew I needed more information.

If this faith were to be real to me I had to hear it from God Himself.  So, to further my search one evening, I quietly took out a Bible and I began to read.  My conscious was stirred when I read Luke 13:3: “but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.”  When I read that Jesus was speaking to His disciples, I just knew I wanted Him to talk to me personally.  I replaced my name with those to whom he was speaking.  I read John 11:25: “Jesus said… I am the resurrection, and the life: he (Ruth) that believeth in me, though he (Ruth) were dead, yet shall he (Ruth) live.”  I felt I had just been introduced to the God of the universe, the God who died for me.  Now I knew I was onto something real.  I read far into the night.

    Four months later, I tried with many vain attempts at righting the many wrongs in my life.  I was aware then that Jesus was the answer to my problems but I had not yet received Him as my Saviour.  I had not understood this.  As God would have it, while I was working at that same office, I was given an assignment to attend a meeting in Richmond, Virginia.  At the same time, I was feeling the full weight of trying on my own to re-start my life with a clean slate.  It was at this time that God helped me to see just what I needed to do with my life.  I watched a preacher on TV that night in the hotel.  He spoke of sin and its hold on our life.  He told me about Jesus.  He, in a sense, connected it all together.  For the first time, I had a clear presentation of the saving and forgiving grace of Jesus.  I bowed my head and prayed to receive Jesus as my Savior.  I remember sleeping very soundly that night.  I was clear of all the wrong I had caused.  I was clear in the eyes of God and that mattered the most.  I now understood the full impact of 1 Peter 2:24: “Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.”

   Since the time of my salvation, I never doubted for a minute that I had met the true God that died not just for everyone’s sin, but for my sins especially.  I returned to college for a study semester a new person in Christ.  2 Corinthians 5:17: “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”  For the last 2 years of college I now had the power to make changes in my life that were pleasing to God.  I had a joy in my heart that I never had before.  I became friends with my parents and our relationship began to grow.  Immediately God started a cleansing process that continues to this day.  I started over with new friends, new roommates, and new social life.  Nothing stopped my quest at understanding this new Christian life.

    Now, can I ask you, is your faith real?  Are you like me?  I was religious but not right with God.  Can you account for many hours or perhaps years of religious training and yet you lack a personal relationship with your Heavenly Father?  Please consider John 11:25: “Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live” and apply these truths to your own life.  If your desire is sincere, God will lead you to a full life with Christ and ultimately eternity in heaven with Him.